Win The Battle or Win The War?
The Power of the Long Game!
The Villain & Hero In Your Own Story
It’s your inner thoughts that will either destroy you or empower you. Those thoughts will in time, turn into physical proof of what you are currently made of! -> CURRENTLY MADE OF! <-- Currently, always becomes the past, and the past always builds the future. The battle of survival is simply you against you. You are both the villain and hero in your own story, with “free will,” we each get to choose the path we journey down. When I was younger, there were these books, they were called, “Choose Your Own Adventure.” I loved them, you could read that book ten times over and never have the same journey. What a great representation of life, sadly, that a lot of us may have lost.
Are You Weak On The Inside?
I mean, do your feelings get hurt easily? Honestly answer the question right now, no one has to know the truth. What’s in your brain, is just that, it’s in your brain, no one has to know, no one’s going to know, unless you share it. If your feelings get hurt by someone’s words or actions, do you outwardly react when it happens. Do you react, not thinking things through and just blurt something, anything? That’s the short game, you are playing to win THAT battle, not the war. Or, do you choose to respond? Securing the comment, action or passive aggressive insult into your brain to process when you are removed from that situation. You rest on it, taking the time to see the big picture, adding the totality of circumstances. Then responding over time, in Ghost mode, blind siding the one that picked the battle with you? You are out to win the war by playing the long game!
The Bully!
Whenever I think about a bully, I picture the face of Scut Farkus from a Christmas Story. Bright red mean looking face, with yellow eyes and big bright braces. Everything that tells you a kid of that age should be insecure about, but, outwardly seems unphased. He’s obnoxious looking and acting, loud, physically and mentally outward violent as he attempts to intimidate, i.e. deflect from his own insecurities. We saw how that played out when Ralphie finally had enough of taking Scuts shit.
We’ve all been witness to such a person, but to what end? A choose your own adventure option if I’ve ever seen one!
Unfortunately, bullies are not always that easy to spot. Scut was playing the short game, looking to when each individual battle, until in the end, he lost the war. Bully’s especially in adulthood are more sinister then that. They play the long game, so to never expose their secrets, their demons, their insecurities. The tactic, we that want to stand up for ourselves, should be initiating and striving to win the war!
The Reaction!
I don’t care who it is. It doesn’t matter who you are, everyone of us has felt it. The elevated blood heartrate, the red face, the sweaty palms. We all experience it differently, for me my ears turn so red they become purple and are on fire -> It’s the worst! This is Anxiety and is mostly self-induced by our own mindset. You see, we feel that first twinge, the first feeling of uneasiness, someone has called us out or taken a shot over the bow as we say, and BOOM!! Our minds loose control and we focus on our body’s reaction.
It could be a co-worker, or a member of your group of “friends,” it’s someone you’ve known that you can’t get rid of. Whomever it is, it doesn’t matter, we all know that, “loudest person,” in the room. The know it all, the bully, the passive aggressive arrogance, it’s real, it’s true and we’ve all been witness to it in our lives.
Ask Yourself These Questions:
What are the thoughts that you have had at one time or another, that you will never share with anyone?
What are 3 things about yourself, that if exposed would embarrass you?
What are your secrets that don’t make you feel good about yourself?
How many times do you remember hurting someone’s feelings?
There are bully’s reading the post. There are those being bullied reading this post. Everyone reading this post have answers for all four of those questions. Everyone you know, everyone you don’t know have answers to those questions. And yes, even the loudest asshole in the room have answers to those questions.
An Experiment.
The struggle is real for all of us, Right? I mean life is tough, people are difficult, and sometimes quite frankly, it’s easier to just fade into the shadows and take that abuse. But we must not lose that spark to thrive in ourselves. It’s not easy for anyone this life - trust me. Raise your hand if you have absolutely no problems in your life. Your life is perfect, no stress, no drama, no loss, no bullies, no financial or relationship concerns. Raise your hand if you have absolutely nothing to complain about!
Trust me my friend, Absolutely No One Raised Their Hands!
We Will Win The War Strategically!
Playing the long game here is the only way to go. This strategy however takes discipline, patience, the ability and willingness to take time to self-reflect and have the drive dive deep into your self-awareness. You must have the passion to grow both personally and self-confidentially. But most importantly we must have the drive to win and to do what is right!
Playing the Long Game - Ghost The Strategy!
You are directly insulted, “You suck.” Directly cut down, “You’re an idiot.” Or attacked passively aggressively, “Oh I wish I had as much time as you do to worry about such silly shit.”
Respond, Do Not React - We don’t want to panic here, take a breath, process the comment/insult, and decide if it warrants a response.
Example: The Bully: Your always so difficult to work with!
If this was said to me, I’d let it ride with no response, they are baiting you into battle.
If they persist - maybe even asking a question:
The Bully: Like why is that? Why do you have to make all our projects so difficult?
They are now provoking a response, they want to battle. They are hoping to show inferiority, identify weakness in you. But the main goal, is to pluck that super sensitive string to force an inappropriate and/or defensive answer from you.
Suggested Response: “I don’t think or meant to make them difficult, it’s just the way you are seeing it for some reason.”
Now it’s time to shut up! lol
The Battle Will Rage On!
Process, Reflect, Develop
The Bully: “Your Mama So Stupid She Sits On The T.V & Watches The Couch!”
This hurts your feelings.
Process It:
Never show or express the emotion of hurt feelings. They will jump all over that.
Resist the urge to “chirp” back or react in a defensive way.
Do not allow them to change your personality. If your normally shy/quiet, loud boisterous, funny, awkward or serious, STAY THAT WAY! Do Not Allow Anyone To Effect Change In or To You!
Reflect On It
Is my mama that stupid. The answer, is likely no.
Is this person (The Bully) worth my time and energy to be upset by it? The answer is always no!
How do I handle it from here?
Develop Your Ghost Strategy - (Only Two Options Here)
Pack this shit away for another day. Is this the one that’s worth picking the next battle over? If the answer is no, store it in the memory bank. Begin to add up the evidence for the battle purpose in the Totality of Circumstance Folder!
Initiate War Sequence - Be strategic here. Really and truly be sure that the above comment is the one that justifies the beginning of the attack sequence.
The Point - Lets get to it!
In the quest for self-mastery and victory in life's battles, the importance of playing the long game cannot be overstated. As we confront the dual roles of hero and villain within ourselves, the power of free will becomes our guiding force. Reflecting on the insidious nature of bullies, both overt and covert, we realize the necessity of strategic planning to emerge triumphant in the war they wage. The heightened emotional reactions we experience, fueled by anxiety and self-doubt, serve as reminders of our shared struggles. Acknowledging the universality of these challenges, we delve into introspective questions that resonate with every reader. The experiment reveals a commonality in the human experience, dispelling the illusion of perfection.
In the journey to triumph, the call to play the long game echoes loudly. Ghosting emerges as a strategic response to insults, a tactic rooted in self-discipline, patience, and self-awareness. The power lies not just in our responses but in our ability to resist the bait, process provocations thoughtfully, and maintain our authentic selves. The conclusion is clear – the battle may rage on, but with disciplined reflection, we become architects of our victories, choosing when and how to initiate the war sequence. The road to triumph is paved with resilience, strategic silence, and an unwavering commitment to self-improvement. In playing the long game, we not only conquer external adversaries but, more importantly, triumph over the battles within ourselves.