The Ability To Be Reasonable. Have We Lost It?
Imagine yourself at a baseball game, and the ball comes flying off the bat toward your head. Instinctively, you react quickly enough to move out of the way. Is this reflex because you’ve been hit before? Of course not. We learn through life, developing instincts to dodge danger. But do we take the time to learn and respect the concept of being reasonable? For most of us, probably not.
The Path of Reasonability
For years, I drove down the center of the road in my beliefs, never fully committing to one lane. I once thought this was a lack of self-confidence—a weakness, even. I felt frustrated by my inability to take a rigid stance on major issues, especially surrounded by people who confidently stuck to their hardline views. But over time, I saw that “walking the center” wasn’t a weakness but an opportunity to gain perspective. Reasonability lets us see from all angles without needing to choose sides.
Emotional intelligence is a direct contributor to our ability to be reasonable. According to National Geographic, emotional intelligence is “the ability to monitor and manage your emotions and have an awareness of others and the competency to interact.” It involves four key pillars:
Accurately perceiving others’ emotions
Understanding one’s own emotions
Using one’s emotions to aid decision-making
Regulating one’s emotions
What if the reasonable path travels down the middle? Why can’t we evaluate each instance, decision, and dilemma individually, without feeling compelled to choose one side of the double line? The ability to be reasonable is a skill that requires conscious effort, yet it’s essential for navigating life’s challenges thoughtfully.
Practical Tips for Cultivating Reasonability
Learning to be reasonable takes daily practice. Here are some practical steps to integrate reasonability into your daily life:
Pause Before Reacting
When faced with a difficult situation, pause. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts can help you respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.Separate Emotion from Fact
Identify if your reaction is driven by emotion or fact. Reasonable responses often require a balance, so recognizing emotions without letting them control you can make a big difference.Seek Perspectives Beyond Your Own
Try to see the situation from all sides, especially when the stakes are high. Ask questions, listen actively, and consider viewpoints that differ from your own. This not only builds empathy but also helps sharpen your understanding.Challenge the Need for Absolutes
Not every situation requires an absolute answer. Embrace the middle ground where applicable; it allows for flexibility and growth in understanding complex issues.Practice Self-Awareness
Regular self-reflection strengthens reasonability. By recognizing your own biases, you can manage your reactions and be more open to alternative perspectives.
When Reasonability Matters Most: Everyday Scenarios
Let’s look at a few scenarios where the power of being reasonable can make a difference:
Workplace Conflicts: When a disagreement arises, consider asking clarifying questions and listening without judgment. This can shift a tense atmosphere into one that fosters productive dialogue.
Personal Relationships: We often feel compelled to “win” arguments with friends or family. Instead, aim to understand the other person’s perspective, even if you don’t agree. This reinforces trust and keeps emotional connections strong.
Online Interactions: Social media can be a breeding ground for intense opinions and arguments. Before responding to a controversial post or comment, ask yourself if the exchange is constructive or necessary.
The Real Value of Reasonability
In a world often split by extreme views, the value of reasonability is in its ability to bridge divides. A reasonable person can listen, absorb, and evaluate all sides before making a judgment. This doesn’t mean never taking a stand; it means recognizing that most things aren’t black and white and making decisions with perspective.
The power of reasonability isn’t just a personal skill but a tool for peace, growth, and improved relationships. When we respect the “middle path,” we make room for patience, understanding, and balance, enriching our lives and the lives of those around us.
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Being reasonable isn’t just about choosing the middle ground; it’s about honoring the bigger picture, practicing emotional awareness, and staying calm in the face of opposing views. To deepen your understanding, explore our related articles on emotional resilience and personal growth.